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His interests include science and apologetics and he writes on both subjects for Catholic Online catholic. Professor Marshall Connolly Director of Education. We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away. Hi readers, it seems you use Catholic Online School a lot; that's great! It's a little awkward to ask, but we need your help. If you have already donated, we sincerely thank you. But if there's a way you can do this without trying to rush through a process nobody involved really recognizes as important, it seems like it would be best to do that instead.
Basically: It sounds like the relationship you have with your friend, and that you will have with her kid, is way more important to you than the church, which is fine. So why not attend the ceremony, in whatever capacity you're allowed, and just be the child's godmother for the rest of baby's life? Unless the church matters to you, your responsibility is to—and flows from—your friend and her daughter, not the church.
My Catholic marriage convalidation was meaningful to me because it involved my wife and I making commitments to each other, the parish we were joining, and the church we recognize as having been founded by God. But if we didn't believe that about the church, and we weren't attending the parish, it would've just been five minutes in a three-hour ceremony with a lot of standing and kneeling, strangers, and bad music. When we were married civilly, a few years earlier, it was no less meaningful to us—we were making a commitment to each other in front of, and to, all our friends and family, and that was the only responsibility we recognized at the time.
Plus the music was better. It was a pain to get it all sorted out when we did become Catholics later, but given who I was I'm glad it happened that way—it was more meaningful to me at the time than a church wedding would have been because I wasn't pretending to recognize an authority, or a set of responsibilities, that had no meaning to me.
On preview: From personal experience, I will say you might have some trouble being a Christian Witness because you were baptized a Catholic. Being baptized Catholic made me a Catholic for purposes of marriage, which made establishing the validity of my marriage significantly more complicated than it would have been if we were both baptized in protestant churches.
Just hunting around online, it seems like the same issue might apply to being a Christian witness: The canon on the matter, , doesn't seem to preclude it, but IANA Canon L, and at least some parishes read it that way. Here's the policy of a random parish that Google caught , for instance. Those parishes will tell you that "Christian witness" is a role for baptized Christians outside the church, not non-confirmed Catholics.
But the parish your godchild will be baptized at has the only policy that matters, in practice, and that sort of thing varies a lot on the ground. The roman catholic church in which I was baptised and confirmed burned to the ground. If I believed in god, I'd say it was retribution for that parish's priest raping children, although why not burn the priest to a crisp before the raping of children happened?
Records kept at the church were destroyed. The diocese had copies of baptismal records, but not of confirmation records. Yes, there exist churches where they will do it by May 1. You want to look for Catholic Churches that explicitly advertise as allowing something that the hardline churches won't. If you're in Brooklyn, I think one of the ones in Park Slope advertises at Pride and is explicitly pro-LGBT, they'd be a good place to start, as would any that say "divorced welcome!
These are going to be places looking to bring people in, not keep them out. You may also want to check with either the Catholic priest at the VA over by Poly Prep, or the one assigned to Fort Hamilton - military-serving priests are much more used to rush. Fast tracking exists. When I got married in the church, my Priest was able to confirm me as an adult without the Bishop.
It only works if you're already baptized and in my case the Priest who did it had known me for years. See Canon Re: lying - I was raised Catholic and was confirmed in the church. When my sister asked me to be Godmother to her kids, I hadn't been to church in years. Beyond getting that letter, my sister's church did not care about anything else. Check to see what parish you currently live in and ask for the letter. Sometimes donations help this process go smoother. Roman Catholic here, godmother to four kids.
Personally, I had to bring a certificate of good standing in my own church. As for your actual question: all of those rites - first communion, confirmation, and participating in a baptism as a godparent involve public proclamation of Catholic faith. Not in a symbolic way, you are literally proclaiming the Catholic faith out loud. First communion involves participating in Catholic Mass and receiving the communicant bread, sometimes bread and wine.
You cannot do either of these online. Also, during the baptism ceremony you will be directly and publicly asked to proclaim your faith to the congregation. Then the godparents are asked if they are prepared to help raise the child in the Catholic faith, and they answer "We are". There are plenty of people who baptize their kids or become godparents without being actual believers, so you certainly wouldn't be the first but there is no way to do it without making false public statements, if you are not a believer.
If you choose to do this, a certificate of good standing is much easier to obtain than fast-track confirmation, and is more honest. Congrats on being chosen as a significant person in the baby's life, BTW. It is great : posted by M. I do not remember anyone asking for certification or papers on the godparents of my kids, just verbal "are you Catholic? My brother has not set foot in a church in years and he was godfather of my oldest son.
It may depend on the priest and the church as well, I was out of the church for years, then came back and two of my kids were baptized not as infants but as older kids, and the local priests here accommodated that just fine with a private baptism and no questions asked except for the ones always asked at a baptism.
To me, making a commitment to be involved in the child's life is the important thing, not details of belief or words said. It is actions that count. My aunt was my Godmother, and she really was a like a second mother to me and part of the reason I came back to church, not because she ever nagged me about it, but because of her example of quiet faith. When my aunt was dying, she said "you are the daughter I never had" as she never married or had kids.
I hope you can work this out somehow and get to be a godparent, if not in church then in this child's life. Yes, I doubt anyone is going to ask to see your papers. And I can't remember getting certificates for FHC or confirmation. Baptism, yes, but not the others. Just go with it. I get that the parents are doing this, not because they have a love of the church and want to introduce its newest member, but because someone in their family is putting on the pressure.
It all makes me deeply uncomfortable, but I get it. Someone's Nona is kicking up a fuss and we'll walk through all of this to make her happy. If you guys aren't going to take it seriously, then don't do it. Perhaps the parents can select a family member who meets the requirements to be the Catholic Godparent, and you can be the Fairy Godparent.
Being a Catholic Godparent means something VERY specific, and given your involvement in the church to date, I don't know that you're willing to fulfill that particular role in this child's life. Have you read what you're swearing to? It's deep. For sure, participate in the service, pose in the pictures and spoil the baby rotten. That's awesome, I do it myself for my Godkids.
But don't be a hypocrite and mock the church for the sake of photos and a party. Atheist, godmother to a nephew. I skipped confirmation but nobody asked me about it or my personal beliefs, either at the church when my sister baptized her son.
There is fast racking but I don't think that fast would be possible. Usually first communion is around 6 years old and communion around 11 but I was whizzed through both at 11 so I qualified for catholic school I had been baptised as a baby Catholic. A couple of months might be fine but not 3 weeks.
If there are other godparents you'd be fine to be a non officially catholic one. Faking it is just weird and insensitive and why bother, it's not like you'll be a Catholic godparent to the kid but you'll have an important role nonetheless. And believe me, I used that as an excuse.
Sorry, can't join you at your endlessly long services, it's against my religion. I'm going to speedy mass posted by kitten magic at AM on April 5, [ 1 favorite ]. Oh and the Catholic Church are the masters of organisation. My dad recently had no trouble obtaining records of his baptism and that was 50 ish years ago. It's like having an FBI file. The best thing to do is have your friend talk directly to the priest who will be performing the Baptism about the situation. Based on what you said in your post, it sounds like she isn't very religious herself, so if the Priest is OK with baptizing her kid even though she's more than likely to NOT bring the child up "in the Church" herself, he might be more relaxed about the particulars of your circumstances as well.
The only way to know this is to sound out the Priest, and that's on your friend to do the legwork. It might help your case that you aren't a "lapsed" Catholic so much as one who was never brought up in the faith after Baptism. If you can at least produce your baptismal certificate call the parish office of the church you were baptized in , the Priest MIGHT see a way around the full host of technical requirements.
Otherwise, yeah, based on my own experiences of fast track RCIA unless you are able to find a superchill liberal parish that will "do everything in a day" in terms of your major Sacraments and what others have already said, I don't see this happening in time for the planned baptism date if the Priest is going to be thorough about verifying that you're in good standing with the Church.
If it really matters to your friend that you be a Godparent AND this happen in this particular church, it might behoove her to delay the Baptism until everyone's ducks are in a row. Those baptisms are supposed to be performed only when the baby is in danger of death. The Church doesn't like amateurs doing a priest's job, it might give them ideas. It was usually performed by midwives when the baby looked like it was going to die shortly after being born. I am not against teaching my godson about the RCC, but they might not like what I say about them posted by sukeban at AM on April 5, [ 2 favorites ].
Sukeban, you are right on that-- I forgot that one important caveat. If you are indeed actually serious about being this kid's Catholic godmother, with everything that actually means, the priest at your BFF's church may let you take part so long as you are signed up for RCIA classes and intend to be a proper Catholic in good order at a church somewhere.
A good priest will have heard it all before and seen the results of all the people in this thread encouraging you to lie, which will make this route require a lot more trust of you than it has any business needing, but if you're genuinely serious it'll have a much higher likelihood of success that hunting after some kind of expedited pathway to getting right with Rome. To be this kid's Catholic godmother, you kinda need to be actually Catholic. First Communion is a Thing, not a Required Thing.
You are a baptized Catholic; go to church, take communion, done. Every Communion is a sacrament, not just the 1st one. Confirmation is when you, as an adult heh, I was 12 , choose to be a Catholic. Find a friendly priest who will confirm you.
The Internet part - study on how to be Catholic, what Catholics believe, and be ready to profess your faith. I don't personally care if you fudge the Catholic part, but godparent means you take responsibility for the child's spiritual and moral health, and that requires some thought and study.
Tell your friend you cannot do it because you are not a practising Catholic and you don't qualify. There are so many ways in which you can contribute to the child's life that, in retrospect, having held the baby in front of the altar as they poor water on her forehead won't mean much as she grows older. The Roman Catholic church is all about connections, capiche? While you may not have attended mass or shown your face during palm sunday, you may find an 'in' through your friend or someone else who is tight with the priest.
It helps. I don't think you can get the trifecta within a month, though, unless you're friends with the family. You're required to attend catechism and a million rehearsals. I have the baptism, the holy communion, the confirmation and if they awarded certificates that people could forge, i'd give you mine, but they don't.
You have to do the work. Roman Catholicism is no joke. It's a bit wrong to do this since you don't seem to actually want to be part of the faith. Can't you become protestant or whatever they call in? Seems like they take anyone in. Remember: Once you're in, you're in. In this section, you will find information about Holy Family and who we are. News and Blog. About Adult Confirmation The Adult Confirmation process is a fun interactive opportunity for Catholics who have not had the opportunity to receive the sacrament of Confirmation to complete their full initiation into the Catholic Church.
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